I guess I loved you too severely,
I think letting you go is more severe than dying.
If I’ve been very busy these past few weeks, it’s because of this baby right here–a first attempt (for me and my MA, Liezel) to organize a block screening event under the company I work for, Modworld Production Management, Inc. The event is finally happening this Saturday, and I’m equal parts thrilled and terrified, just like I was when we staged the Koala’s March Grand Family Day in November of last year. Compared to that event, of course, this one is of a smaller scale, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t as challenging.
So yes–have you bought tickets from me yet? ^_^ If you haven’t, I sincerely wish you would. Ha. Ha. <3
No, but seriously, if you have nothing to do on a Saturday night–that’s this Saturday, June 13th (8:00 PM)–come join us for this Jurassic World block screening event. Early birds get freebies from our sponsors~ and maybe even game and raffle prizes if you’re the type to be lucky. You can visit the Modworld website for tickets, or you can contact me directly at email@example.com. ^_^
I am a writer who dislikes writing endings.
Which is kind of weird, right? As a writer, I should feel happy about getting to the end of my story. It’s an achievement, something to be celebrated, even in the simplest of ways. And yet, during the past few years I’ve realized a trend when I’m about to close a work of fiction: I stall.
Two or three chapters away from my ending, I stop looking at my manuscript altogether. I read or reread books, think of new stories to write, watch dramas or films . . . I do anything to keep myself from writing those last few chapters, and all because I’ve gotten attached to my characters and don’t want to let them go yet.
It’s probably not a good thing, what I do, but hey . . . I’m pretty sure we all have our own quirks. I almost did the same routine with my #SparkNA novella, but I had a deadline to beat this time, and maybe that’s one of the reasons why I joined this class in the first place: to learn to discipline myself as a writer.
I’ve been thinking of writing you a letter since that day in April when we learned of the new journey you chose to take. Obviously, work and other things got in the way, so I guess this will suffice.
I was shocked by the decision you made. Shocked, but not disturbed. Shocked in an amazing, terrifying kind of way. I could only imagine the process you took, the weighing of pros and cons, the self-doubt or the “Can I really do it?” and “Am I ready for this?” phase, and maybe even the grief that motivated you to think of this course in the first place.
I should write a story about you, about how brave you were–are, in fact, because you’re taking this journey on your own now. Not completely on your own, of course. There’s family and friends supporting you, but you know what I mean. There must be some place deep in your heart that longs for someone, The One, to share these moments with you. I know there is. We joke about it a lot and shove the issue under the rug, but I know, and I understand that longing to an extent. It kind of gnaws at your heart some when you’re idle, when you’re about to fall asleep at night, or maybe in your waking hours. I imagine there’d be a dull ache in your chest, a hollow part you feel like smacking a cork into. Someday, I hope that space gets filled. And when it does, I hope that the someone who takes it deserves you.
For now, let me tell you how amazing you are for making this decision. Some people might think it unwise, but I understood completely why you wanted it as much as you did. I have similar dreams too, but I’m not sure I’ll have that chance. It’s not about being ready, because really, no one is completely ready for the big things in life. It’s about knowing in your heart what you really want and standing by it no matter what. It’s about being determined to be worthy of what you wanted, of what life is giving you the chance to experience. That you knew what you wanted and took the chance, that you are determined to show the world that you deserve this . . . that’s what’s amazing, and for that I applaud you.
I may not be very showy, but I support you 100%. And if you’ll take me as godmother, I’d gladly do it.
Take care of yourself well. <3
The fact that I can now write another blog entry means I’ve already typed the words “THE END” on my #SparkNA manuscript–and believe me, I’d totally drink to that if I could–and am currently enjoying a few hours away from it. I have now spent a full 19 or so hours away from my still tentatively-titled book, and I’m just waiting for my editor friend, Rix, to give it a pass before I review and apply whatever changes she deems fit. I have already watched the latest episode of Running Man, eaten (almost) a whole bag of Lay’s Cheddar and Sour Cream Potato Chips, and finished Mina Esguerra’s My Imaginary Ex (which she had up for a giveaway until yesterday). Life is good.
Until Monday, I guess.