I forgot when exactly it was that Mina tagged me in a #romanceclass discussion thread on Facebook, saying because of certain things she knows about me, she’s inviting me to tag along to this little gathering. Of course I would have loved to join them, but I was new to the group and didn’t know the “rules” yet, if there were any, so getting that little invite made me happy. I asked Mina what those things were, and she gave me only one hint:
Rak of Aegis
Oh she got me. She got me good. 😛
I think I was in pre-school when I first fell in love with the performing arts. My mother was a Whitney Houston fan who would always play her cassette tapes at home, and I learned to sing most of her songs by listening to them over and over. I was in kindergarten when I joined my first singing contest–The Greatest Love of All, anyone?–and since then I’ve kind of found my way back on stage every so often, even when I’d transferred schools at thirteen. There were stage plays, dance competitions, instrumental performances, and everything else in between that made it so natural for me to be affiliated with anything connected to performing arts.
Being able to stand in front of an appreciative audience is, in itself, its own high. I remember being up there dancing, representing my school as a member of the St. Scholastica’s College High School Dance Club and feeling so inexplicably happy hearing people cheer wholeheartedly. It’s kind of addictive, actually, in that I recall feeling sad whenever I don’t get picked to perform for certain events because my skills weren’t at par with the others that were chosen. But after a while, I realized that working behind the scenes also had its perks and one need not be in the limelight all the time to feel fulfilled.
Cards on the table, first of all: I first saw Rak of Aegis in February last year, and again in March. I was so enamored by the entire production I couldn’t stop singing Aegis songs for weeks, and the withdrawal caused me to create an unofficial fanpage for the production . . . because I needed an outlet for my overflowing love, obviously.
At about the same time, I, together with my friend and co-fanpage moderator, Rica, began forging friendships with the cast members. They were very happy to see the effort we put on the fanpage, and were very appreciative of it. We couldn’t be happier, and would constantly get bouts of kilig over getting likes and favorites all over Facebook and Twitter.
Come June of last year, we went to the fictional barangay Villa Venizia again and were wowed by how much the musical had improved. The storyline was tighter, running time shorter, and even if I’ve already seen it twice before, there’s still that magic I felt when I saw it for the first time. Or the second time.
Before 2014 came to a close, I was able to see the production for six times already, and even then, the cast and crew of the hottest musical of the year were still giving us something new. It is truly a gift that keeps on giving, and by god, I took everything I could. I got intoxicated with everything Rak of Aegis had to offer, and my hangover was so immense it lasted me six months more until the production opened again this June.
(Further review of the musical under the cut. THERE ARE SPOILERS, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.)
Dear C,
I’ve been thinking of writing you a letter since that day in April when we learned of the new journey you chose to take. Obviously, work and other things got in the way, so I guess this will suffice.
I was shocked by the decision you made. Shocked, but not disturbed. Shocked in an amazing, terrifying kind of way. I could only imagine the process you took, the weighing of pros and cons, the self-doubt or the “Can I really do it?” and “Am I ready for this?” phase, and maybe even the grief that motivated you to think of this course in the first place.
I should write a story about you, about how brave you were–are, in fact, because you’re taking this journey on your own now. Not completely on your own, of course. There’s family and friends supporting you, but you know what I mean. There must be some place deep in your heart that longs for someone, The One, to share these moments with you. I know there is. We joke about it a lot and shove the issue under the rug, but I know, and I understand that longing to an extent. It kind of gnaws at your heart some when you’re idle, when you’re about to fall asleep at night, or maybe in your waking hours. I imagine there’d be a dull ache in your chest, a hollow part you feel like smacking a cork into. Someday, I hope that space gets filled. And when it does, I hope that the someone who takes it deserves you.
For now, let me tell you how amazing you are for making this decision. Some people might think it unwise, but I understood completely why you wanted it as much as you did. I have similar dreams too, but I’m not sure I’ll have that chance. It’s not about being ready, because really, no one is completely ready for the big things in life. It’s about knowing in your heart what you really want and standing by it no matter what. It’s about being determined to be worthy of what you wanted, of what life is giving you the chance to experience. That you knew what you wanted and took the chance, that you are determined to show the world that you deserve this . . . that’s what’s amazing, and for that I applaud you.
I may not be very showy, but I support you 100%. And if you’ll take me as godmother, I’d gladly do it.
Take care of yourself well. <3
Filed Under: #SparkNA Playlist
Because one of my LIs keep singing this in my head.