It’s been another long while since I last updated this blog/website. Honestly, I really thought I’d be able to keep updating regularly this year, but after the 9th of May, everything just seemed so bleak for me and I barely had the energy to do anything. (And I know I’m not the only one, nor am I being dramatic.)
It’s the 21st of August now as I write this. Any Filipino who has lived as long as I have will know that on this day in 1983, former Senator Benigno “Ninoy” Aquino was assassinated as soon as he landed at the Manila International Airport (now called Ninoy Aquino International Airport, but I don’t know for how long). Any Filipino who has been in the workforce here in the Philippines would also be aware of this, because it’s been declared a special non-working holiday since 2004. Again, I’m not sure how long this will be in effect, considering the intentions of the current administration.
I guess it’s not a coincidence that I felt like posting something here today, or that I remembered what day it is. (Honestly, the days blur into each other so unceremoniously nowadays, it’s difficult to keep track.) Recalling the things Ninoy Aquino stood for in our history made me look back at the things I’ve done in the past few months, and if I’ve even done enough. The answer, clearly, is no. And no, I’m not just talking about marching down the streets and demanding good governance and justice. I’m talking about having the strength every day to work toward a goal and pushing through with it despite the odds.
Now, I’m not trying to preach here. And I’m not saying I already have that kind of strength. Because honestly? It’s kind of crippling just watching things unfold. But I’m also beginning to get tired of this feeling of dread and helplessness, and I know that if I don’t do anything about it, I will be stuck in this dark, depressing state for a long time. So here’s what I’m going to try to do:
I’m going to be grateful every day for the small things. Like the perfect cup of coffee, the shiny little object I bought from Shopee, or that feeling of kilig from that one KDrama I’m watching.
I’m going to start reading again. And writing again. And getting my ass out of the couch to exercise again.
I’m going to cherish the things that make me happy and let go of the things that don’t.
I’m going to revisit my goals for the year and start working my way toward them.
And finally…
I’m going to remain kind to myself if I don’t meet my goals in the amount of time I usually do.
Seem easy? I can only wish. I’ll try my best, so wish me luck! And if you’re working your way through a list like mine, I’m wishing you the best of luck too. We can do this, okay? The people and things we love are worth fighting for, so let’s do this. Laban lang. Kapit lang.
